Honesty at Last
by marylinevelyn
Summary: These are inserted scenes to the 2 part season finale of Season 1.
1. Chapter 1

Marian tiptoed out her bedroom door. She glanced in her father's room to make sure he was asleep and then quickly left the house, saddled her horse, and began to ride for the cave. She hated how her father had intervened on her behalf when she had fought with Robin that evening. She hated that she had not been able to hold her own, and that he had needed to intervene. But this meeting would be on her terms, she promised herself. She slowed her horse as she neared the cave campsite. Someone was bound to be on watch, she was hoping it would be Robin. She wasn't disappointed. She saw him sitting, leaning despondently against a tree about fifty yards from the opening of the cave. She wondered if it was truly his watch or if he had ordered the others to leave him alone to his thoughts. Marian knew his moods well and could only imagine the mood he would be in. She tethered her horse and quietly approached him in the darkness.

"Robin," Marian began hesitantly,

"I heard you coming."

"I'm sorry."

"Well it's done isn't it? You're marrying Gisborne in only days."

"What would you like me to say? That I'm happy, that I'm about to begin the future I always dreamed of?"

"Something like that. At least then I'd know you're still the Maid Marian I knew and loved not some weak little puppet of the Sheriff or Sir Guy."

"Now Robin that is unfair."

"I know it is. I don't want to lose you to him, Marian."

"Well you've done a fine job of showing that," she bit back sarcastically.

"And what the hell is that supposed to mean?" He demanded, finally sitting up straight to glare at her.

"It means you aren't going to fight for something until it's about ready to be taken away, that's what it means."

"Marian I have fought for you every single day! What do you think I've been doing?"

"I think you've been doing whatever Robin of Locksley wants. But I didn't come here to fight with you."

"Oh really?"

"I never mean to fight with you Robin, it just…"

"Happens," he finished with a half-hearted grin. The smile faded almost instantly though, "So why did you come here Marian?"

"I don't know! I only knew that I couldn't be alone tonight."

"That sounds like a selfish motivation if there ever was one Miss High and Mighty," he joked.

"Oh don't pretend you aren't glad to see me, look, you're sitting up and everything," she retorted.

"Marian," Robin's voice returned to seriousness as he stared into the fire, "In a matter of days you will be another man's wife. And I will no longer be able to even pretend that you are mine, or that you ever will be."

"Robin I am still and have always been yours."

"Then try to have some compassion and don't torture me so!"

"Does this torture you?" She asked wickedly, removing her cloak and leaning back so he could admire her body.

"Yes." He smiled in appreciation.

"How about this?" She undid three buttons on her nightgown and let it flutter down to reveal most of her chest.

"Pure torture," he whispered, shaking his head from side to side.

"I've made my point," she simpered and began buttoning her nightgown back up.

"Oh no you don't," he said with a laugh and lunged for her, pushing her down and pinning her to the ground.

"Took you long enough," she said, jokingly slapping him on the cheek, "I was starting to get embarrassed."

"Well you deserve it after what you've put me through."

"You love the chase, that's what you're in it for."

"Oh no, never think that Marian. For you I'm in it for life and forever."

"Pretty words Robin Hood. But what about the wedding day?"

"I will take care of you then as every day; you have my word on it."

"I'll kiss to that," she smiled, and reached her head up to kiss him.

Their lips touched and Marian felt as always as if all time was one, as if she was sixteen year-old Marian kissing him for the first time, and eighteen-year-old Marian kissing him goodbye, and yet now twenty-three year-old Marian kissing him in new and distracting ways that it had never been like when they were young and had nothing to lose. And as these scenes flashed before her eyes, the first kiss impatient and careless on Robin's part, the goodbye kiss excruciating to even recall, and now…now this might be their last kiss if she really and truly married Guy in two days. She had not believed she would until this moment but now it was real, and she realized she had only hours left. Like the night before Robin left for the Holy Land, once again they had only hours left. And she felt the madness seize her as it had then, the fear and love and sadness mingling together inside her and she grabbed him closer.

"Make me forget him, Robin," she commanded, her fingers tearing at his shirt, fairly ripping it off his body over his head and throwing it to the side.

"Marian, now is not the time, you are soon to be a married woman," Robin got up off her and retrieved his shirt.

She glared at him, remaining laying down on her back.

"Is this what you came here for tonight? You thought you could seduce me, _use_ me?" His words were meant as a joke but he couldn't quite carry it off, and she felt his hurt and sincerity through the jesting.

"I hardly think I'm taking advantage," Marian bit back, "Your innocence and sexual purity are overwhelming."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

Marian looked away studiously.

"You have had other women, in the Holy Land."

Robin groaned, "It was nothing."

"It didn't sound like nothing. You asked the King for her in front of everyone. You couldn't possibly think I wouldn't have found out eventually."

"Marian you are to marry another man on Saturday!"

"I know, I know, I know."

"Why are we spending this night fighting?" He demanded, grabbing her hands in his.

"I don't know! We always do. It's all we ever do. We can't do anything but fight! We used to make love every time we got angry at each other and now all we have are useless words."

"Marian we cannot be together in that way now, you know that."

"I know, I know, I know."

Robin chuckled at that, "But I guess we could make an exception for your night on Death Row."

And he leapt at her and pinned her to the ground, laughing. She kissed him back for a moment, and then gently pushed him back.

"You are right, Robin. We would regret this."

"Are you sure? Because now that I've wrapped my head around it I'm more than willing…" he ran his hand over her breast and rubbed his thumb over her nipple in circles.

"Robin we are falling into old habits," she disciplined.

He grinned and lifted up her skirt to around her waist.

"You are such a tease, Marian," he reprimanded in mock seriousness, as he stroked up her thigh.

"Robin," she said anxiously, fear creeping into her eyes as his fingers began to play her.

"What? You used to love this," he grinned, inserting two fingers.

She grimaced, "Robin, it's been…oh God…" and her face relaxed. He twisted his fingers and she gasped. Instantly he removed his hand and pulled away slightly.

"How dare you stop!" She shook her head, smiling.

"I thought you had said no, I'm being respectful," he joked, raising his eyebrows into her favorite cocky expression of his.

"Oh come here," she sighed in fake exasperation, unlaced his pants and pulled him towards her.

He couldn't help himself. He entered her fast and roughly. He thrust as hard as he could, pounding her hips into the ground, his hands crushing her, his lips bruising hers. He loved the way she felt pinned beneath him, helpless, entirely at his mercy, and for an all too short time entirely his. She fought back as hard as she could, wrapping her legs around him, praying this painful assault would never end. It was before; it was always, now and forever. When she finally came she felt tears well in her eyes but she refused to let them fall, as he continued to drive into her until he finished as well. As soon as he came he froze and held himself gingerly above her for a moment, just to remember, just to remember her. Then he lay down next to her and cradled her against him and whispered,

"For old time's sake, yes?"

"I must go," she murmured into his chest.

"Marian if I hadn't left, we would be…"

She raised herself up onto her elbow and brushed his hair from his forehead.

"I have to go. You will be there when…, won't you?"

Robin nodded. Marian stood and straightened her dress.

"Soon then," she replied, and walked slowly away into the darkness where her horse was tethered. When she reached the old mare she wrapped her arms around the horse's neck and waited to see if more tears would come. This was what she had wanted, but, like always with Robin, it was far more than she had bargained for. And now she had no idea how she would face the morning.


	2. Chapter 2

"You may see her now Robin," Djaq said as she gently closed Marian's bedroom door behind her. "She is awake, but very tired. Do not weary her. It has only been one day since the injury and she must rest."

Robin nodded seriously, and patted Djaq on the shoulder as he passed her and crept into Marian's bedroom. There she was lying on the bed, in the same position she always slept in, curled onto her side with her legs tucked up close to her chest. Had he not known otherwise, he would never have guessed anything was wrong.

"Marian, it's me," he whispered.

"You can speak at a normal volume, Robin, I'm not dying you know," she joked pitifully, still facing the wall away from him.

"You almost were," he continued to whisper.

"Come here," she commanded, and looked back at him, extending an arm to him. He blinked, and swayed on his feet. He was starting to feel the effects of two days without sleep.

He slowly walked to the bed and knelt down at her side. When he saw her white face, her eyes still ringed with shadows, he blinked back tears.

"Shh, it's all right," Marian touched his face and motioned for him to come closer. He inched forward until she wrapped her arms around his head and cradled him to her breast.

"It's all right. I'm all right, you don't need to worry."

"I can't help it. I almost lost you," he whimpered against her neck. She stroked his hair and neck and hummed to him.

"Are you sure you're really going to be all right?" He asked, drawing back.

"Yes. And no." She looked away, staring up at the ceiling, trying to remain in control.

"What's wrong? I'll go get Djaq," Robin jumped to his feet and started to go.

"No," Marian said quickly, stretching out a hand to him. "It's…Djaq told me when Guy stabbed me, the dagger cut…that is to say it tore…" Marian's eyes flooded with tears and she looked up at the ceiling again and blinked frantically.

"Marian, what is it?" Robin asked quietly, coming to her side again and cradling her hand against his chest, "Tell me."

"She said I won't be able to…" her voice quavered and her lips trembled but she mastered it, "Children won't be possible."

"Oh, Marian," he whispered, and carefully edged his way onto the bed and wrapped his arms around her shoulders. In a rare moment of vulnerability she clung to him.

"For eight years I've been imagining our children, even when you were in the Holy Land, or when you're being stupid, I've thought of them. And now to know they will never come…"

Robin stroked her hair and imagined two small children, a little girl with chestnut hair, and a tow-headed boy, running gleefully through the forest. He watched them disappear into the greenery and held Marian tighter.

"I know. Nothing has been as we'd planned."

She nodded and pulled away, wiping her eyes.

"You'd better go. If Gisborne comes and finds you here…"

"I will deal with Gisborne when he comes. You don't have anything to fear."

He kissed her forehead and left the room quickly, trying to keep control over his rage at Gisborne, at his own failures, and that Marian could allow herself to be broken by this. He knew Marian, and his Marian would fight. She had to, because he could not fight without her.


End file.
